Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
