had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
