I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
