This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize