and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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