Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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