I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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