I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
