I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My vagina is officially offended.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
