Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
