How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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