my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
