Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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