I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize