Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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