saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
