do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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