Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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