Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
