how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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