im holly from the hills drunk
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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