Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
