you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
