its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
