The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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