I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
