I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
