I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
