I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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