He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
