Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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