i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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