so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
