he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
