I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
