You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
