why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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