Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
