So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize