The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
