I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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