Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
