I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
