He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
