we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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