If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
