You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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