I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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