dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
