I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
