A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
