Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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