I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
