I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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