Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
