I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
