Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
