I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
