I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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