So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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