she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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